Reconciliation meetings in relation to forgiveness
I don't think that anybody can better heal a wound than the one who inflicted it, because only they know exactly what they did and why. Likewise, I don't think that anybody can help a perpetrator who feels guilt better than a victim that has genuinely accepted their apology, dropped their grudges, and moved on. This requires that victim and perpetrator meet and listen open-mindedly and without judgment to each other's side of the story, with or without a facilitator. I've tried both, and it is a win-win situation if both parties are sane and up for it. Something magical seems to happen when it goes well; the mutual understanding somehow transforms pain into love and makes you feel connected in a way you never thought possible. But then there are those who are so sick that it is not wise to meet with them, and the ones who die before you can settle the score even if you wanted to. Prayer helps me in such instances. I only consider meeting with people that are morally sound, because otherwise you just risk making matters worse. It’s no use reasoning with somebody who does not perceive what they have done as being wrong, or who wants nothing to do with you.