Phases of Recovery
There was a pattern to my recovery. I went through an acute phase that lasted for about six months, then a two-year early recovery phase, and finally a three-year late recovery phase. These phases all had different themes, and the tools I used to get through each of them were quite different. The acute phase was characterized by shock, pain, anger and a sense of powerlessness. I locked my secret inside my soul and needed professional help just to stay on my feet. Early recovery was marked by depression, low self-esteem, lack of trust and suicidal thoughts. I tried to suppress what had happened, and needed a healthy set of routines and antidepressants to keep me going and avoid collapse. Late recovery was coloured by grief and anxiety. It was a ‘rest and digest’ period where therapy proved very effective. I philosophized about what happened and gradually moved from resentment to forgiveness, frustration to understanding and hopelessness to hope in my search for resolution and meaning. Looking back, I don’t think I could have skipped any of the phases, and I suppose they reflect how many of us deal with traumatizing life events.